Do not feel bad if you read this and think you have done some of these things before- as we probably have all done at least one! I'm hoping that by writing this, people will be more aware of how annoying some things are.
Disregarding sign conversations. This happened to me recently, I was in a gallery talking to two deaf people, when a girl eagerly commented on how great it was that we could sign, and ask me how I learnt. I was suddenly stuck in a social politeness nightmare. Do I ignore the girl talking to me, or do I stop signing mid-sentence to reply? Either way I’m rude.
The worst thing about it is that I probably did the same a few years ago.
It is easy to forget that people using sign language are having an important conversation, particularly when you don’t understand what is being said and you worry you will never get the chance to interject. Just make sure its appropriate, approach them, make eye contact, and wait for them to finish what they are saying before getting to you.
Stare. Oh, I know we all do this one. Sometimes it is fine to just sit in a group and watch other people sign. But if you’re in a café, having a nice little private chat with your friend, the last thing you want is someone staring at you. It is about knowing where you are wanted.
Treat signed conversations like verbal ones. It is fine to watch and wait for a break in convo to join, or fine to casually see if they are talking about anything you think you could join in on.
Of course at places like parties or in groups it is fine to dive in and out of different peoples conversations.
But don’t just stare at people in the supermarket, making them feel like they are some sort of show. Or even making them feel like just because there language is so vivid that means it is okay to eaves drop.
Disregarding sign conversations. This happened to me recently, I was in a gallery talking to two deaf people, when a girl eagerly commented on how great it was that we could sign, and ask me how I learnt. I was suddenly stuck in a social politeness nightmare. Do I ignore the girl talking to me, or do I stop signing mid-sentence to reply? Either way I’m rude.
The worst thing about it is that I probably did the same a few years ago.
It is easy to forget that people using sign language are having an important conversation, particularly when you don’t understand what is being said and you worry you will never get the chance to interject. Just make sure its appropriate, approach them, make eye contact, and wait for them to finish what they are saying before getting to you.
Stare. Oh, I know we all do this one. Sometimes it is fine to just sit in a group and watch other people sign. But if you’re in a café, having a nice little private chat with your friend, the last thing you want is someone staring at you. It is about knowing where you are wanted.
Treat signed conversations like verbal ones. It is fine to watch and wait for a break in convo to join, or fine to casually see if they are talking about anything you think you could join in on.
Of course at places like parties or in groups it is fine to dive in and out of different peoples conversations.
But don’t just stare at people in the supermarket, making them feel like they are some sort of show. Or even making them feel like just because there language is so vivid that means it is okay to eaves drop.
Pouncing. Don’t touch a deaf person who doesn’t know you’re there. It is incredibly rude. And a bit scary.
Shouting. It’s a bit moronic to think shouting at a deaf person is alright. It makes lip reading harder, draws attention to you, and can be very condescending or upsetting. Just talk, and usually they will follow the lip patterns. Even people who were not born deaf and have just developed it should be able to lip read, as they learn when their hearing gradually gets worse. If people cannot understand you and you don’t know sign, try and write/type it out rather than shout.
Baby mouthing. Or in other words, overly pronounced lip patterns or talking really slowly as if you were talking to a baby. This is patronising, draws attention to the person’s deafness and can be really upsetting.
People learn lip-reading by looking at people’s lips when they talk normally, so changing your lip patterns can hinder.
People learn lip-reading by looking at people’s lips when they talk normally, so changing your lip patterns can hinder.
Assuming they cant do things. Recently I got chatted up by a guy, who offered to buy me a drink. As he was buying, I expected him to order. Just because he was deaf, didn’t mean I had to take the money and do it for him. Yes, life would be easier if a hearing, talking person ordered, however deaf people are not incapable of ordering. Bear in mind it may feel like you are being condescending if you assume they want you to talk for them. As with everything, this doesn't apply to everyone. Some people may be intimidated by ordering or talking to hearing people who cannot sign. If that is the case either wait for them to ask you to help them, or politely offer. This is better than assuming they cannot do things.
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