Deaf children

I am hearing and have no children. However there may be people out there who have a deaf child, sibling, niece or god child. And although I cannot give a personal account of what it is like and how they feel, I understand some people may be clueless on how to act around deaf children, so may appreciate some suggestions.

So here are a few things to bare in mind:

1) How you treat them now will stay with them forever. Just like with all children, you are learning who you are and how people act from the moment you can process what is going on around you. If you ignore them from the start because you don't know how to communicate, then when WILL you be confident to start talking to them?
2) Find out what type of sign language they use. Makaton is common for very young children, who are deaf, unable to talk, or perhapse suffer from other disabillites such as downs syndrome. If they use Makaton then it is your lucky day as it is by far the simplest to learn and use! You do basic signs along with saying clearly what you mean. See below different ways to sign 'are you thirsty? do you want a drink?' in  Makaton, SSE (sign supported english) and BSL.
Makaton:

3) Talk to their parents. Are they deaf? Does their child prefer to communicate through signs, lip patterns, or even writing? Everyone is different.
4) Be aware of some sensitive subjects, for example cochlear implants,  deaf schools, and BSL.
Some people are strongly against cochlear implants as they can be large and unattractive, not as good as hearing aids, and some people just don't like the thought of hearing all the time- if you were born deaf suddenly hearing things constantly may be frightening and disorientating. Other people believe if you have the chance to give a child better hearing you must take it.
Deaf schools mean that deaf children are taught clearly in an environment that understands their needs. However, some people believe it can isolate deaf children from the hearing world and may hinder their social development.
The use of BSL an sometimes be frowned on as it is thought that it can hinder the child's language skills and their development of others forms of communication, such as learning to talk and lip read. BSL uses a completely  different structure than spoken/ written English and it can be hard for a native BSL user to switch into writing in proper English when they communicate in a language with different orders and grammar. Using BSL also can limit vocabulary as BSL doesn't use words like 'and' and uses simple words- you wouldn't sign 'convay' but instead sign 'shows'.
Like with all views, don't choose where you stand on issues like this until you have done some research, to try and avoid embarrassment or upsetting anyone.
5) Read this post: http://talktomyeyes.blogspot.com/2011/07/help-i-have-just-met-deaf-person-and.html  as it applies to children too :)
6) learn some sight games, like peek a boo if they are little. Always bare in mind they cant hear you, so maybe playing hide and seeks isn't the best idea, if you cant find them then how will they hear you yell 'ready or not here I come!' or 'I give up come out' or 'omg there is a fire get out'. Just a thought.
7)If you want ideas of gifts, now a rattle is off the gift list, find a toy that vibrates or lights up. some deaf children may still be able to hear so may enjoy a musical present, but what you don't want is a child unknowingly driving their parents mad by setting off their toys... oh wait that's most children, aha. or just a classical one that isn't kinetic. Be careful googerling 'vibrating toys' though....
8) Keep them involved, in group games it may be easy for them to get left out or confused, so keep and eye out and make sure they are involved. If you are in a youth group or school perhaps arrange a deaf awareness event and teach some children basic signs so that other children can communicate without an adult having to be involved. Make sure everyone is aware that being deaf doesn't make you exempt from anything.
9) on the point, if you are arranging activities and there is something no suitable for deaf children, don't make them sit it out! adapt it or make your own game up! have a look at good group games that you don't need to hear to do here:  http://www.irishdeafkids.ie/2008/group-games-for-deaf-and-hearing-children/
10) Being deaf is a disability, but try not to make the child feel different. Don't blame everything on their deafness, treat them differently when they don't need to be, or punish them any more or less then other children. At such a young age you can be taught to feel certain ways about things, so be sure to never make the child feel like they are an outsider, or exempt from the rules that apply to other people.

HELP! I have just met a deaf person and have no idea what to do!

You may be looking at this blog because you have little or no experience with anyone who is hearing impaired, but feel you need some advice in how to communicate better with deaf people.
You may have just met a deaf person, and have no idea how to act around them. Here is a very few simple things you should keep in mind.

1) Don’t ignore them! Communicating with someone who uses a different language to you can be daunting, particularly if it isn’t a spoken one, but don’t let this stop you from trying to communicate.

2) Do not cover your mouth or face. BSL is a very visual language, so be sure to use facial expressions- loads of them! And make eye contact.

3) Understand how deaf they are. Some deaf people can hear things, but words are fuzzy, where as some people can hear little or no sound. Do not, whatever you do, talk about the deaf person as if they are not there- as they will feel excluded and they may be able to lip read or hear what you say.

4) Don’t try and talk through who they are with, though of course this can change depending on the situation. If they are with a friend who can sign, it may be condescending to try and talk through them- particularly if they can lip read and talk perfectly well! It may also put the friend in a weird position- as they will spend their time being an interpreter (a challenging job) and therefore not able to enjoy themselves. HOWEVER, if they have an interpreter with them, then I suggest you talk TO the deaf person (eye contact is a big thing- particularly with the deaf as their language is so visual) as an interpreter is paid to interpreter. It is their job- doesn’t feel bad about talking to them but not actually looking at them.

5) Most deaf people can lip read, so try talking to them normally without covering your mouth. If you feel foolish for talking to someone who is deaf, just talk but don’t let the sound come out- I do this when I sign to make sure my lip patterns are correct.
Remember when you try to lip pattern things too much it often comes out wrong!
Do not baby mouth or shout- shouting may not actually help in many cases as the issue can be with the QUALITY of sound rather than quantity. Remember Mild/ moderately deaf people can often hear the noise- they just have difficulty defining the words.
Watch this video and practice saying ‘hello, sorry I don’t know sign, can you lip read?’ it is incredibly basic sign- not in BSL order or anything. If you are doing BSL level one or above don’t sign like this- but if you have no sign experience this is easy to remember and use.

Hopefully they will say yes (the sign for yes is nodding- shaking your head is no) however if they say no, then write notes, send texts, or use smoke signals . Don’t just ignore them if they cannot lip read.

6) If a group conversation is happening and the hard of hearing person looks confused, ask them if you want you to tell them what is being said. Even if you don’t know sign language- someone looking directly at them and speaking clearly will be easier to understand then them trying to follow people at different angles and in difference places talking to each other.

7) Have patience. From the video above you can see the sign for ‘again’. Use this if they say something you don’t get. It is much worse to be ignored than to have to repeat yourself a few times.  

8) Don’t pet their hearing dog. I know I am being massively hypocritical when saying this, as my tutor had such an adorable Labrador you couldn’t help but give the odd stroke, but if you are in a confusing situation (such as at work, at a party, or with lots of talking people and noise) it is best not to distract them. Also you don’t know yet how sensitive the dog is, or whether the owner minds you touching them.

9) Sign up for a BSL course! You can get all sorts of different courses- introduction to sign is brilliant if you are just learning to get more deaf aware in case you meet anyone hearing impaired, or have a friend of a friend who is deaf. If you want to REALLY learn sign language, and don’t mind taking a serious course involving a few exams, level one BSL is for you.
Courses are sometimes expensive (but as it is a language that is to be expected) and places are sometimes hard to get- so do not do a course if you can’t commit.
Also do not think ‘I’m not a total beginner to BSL as I can have a short conversation in sign so I will go straight on to BSL level 2’, as it is important you know the basics WELL before doing level two.
 Also level two is a lot more work than level one.
I would suggest going on to level two BSL completed level one with relative ease (as it is much harder) and if you want a job working with the hearing impaired or are spending a lot of time with a sign user, as it introduces you to things such as ‘multichannels’ which are not taught in level one.

10) Don’t be daunted. Smile a lot, treat them just the same as you would treat anyone else (obvious one, I know) and remember to just keep clear with your facial expressions and words. Don’t cover your mouth- I cannot repeat this enough times- and make eye contact.
Oh, and have fun getting to know a new person 

BSL structure…. what? (Yes, that’s it)

Okay, so what is BSL structure? Here is a quick story in it, to help you get your head around it.

"Pigs little, three. Live where? One, house. Made what? Straw. Two, house. Made what? Mud. Three, house. Made what? Brick. Wolf want what? Pigs. Why? Yummy. House, which? One. Wolf do what? house blow down. Pig do what? Run away. scared.House, which? Two. Wolf do what? House blow down. Pig do what? Run away. Cry. House, which? Three. Wolf do what? house blow down try. Impossible. Try hard. Wolf upset. Pigs Happy. Finish."

See how concise it is. And how different the lay out is to English.
Confused? Don’t be, it’s pretty simple, and with practice you will learn to automatically use it.
Basically-

Time: (recently, last week, 20 minutes ago) Usually, time goes first. You must decide what is appropriate. For example if you are saying ‘I’m looking over the fence’ you would put the fence first. When saying ‘recently I looked over the fence’ put recently first, and if you are saying ‘a long time ago I looked over the fence’ you have a choice between simply signing ‘a long time ago do what? Look over fence’ or ‘looked over fence. When? Long time ago’. It depends on what you fancy.

Objects: (ball, wall, house) Objects go after time but first before most other things, when appropriate. Why? Because if you did the sign for ‘looking over’ before you sign the fence you are looking over, you may sign the fence in completely the wrong place. Signing is a lot about placements, so it is important you get the objects in the correct place first.
 E.G- wall look over. ( I looked over the wall)

People and animals: In the middle/where appropriate. Sometimes put first.
 E.G- Zebra do what? Watches Deborah. (The Zebra is watching Deborah)
          Recently met Kelly, why? (Recently I met up with Kelly because….)

Emotions: In the middle/ where appropriate. Usually put after person/animal.
 E.G- Barney upset. (Barney is upset)

Questions: Always go at the end. In BSL level one you may put them at the end and the start, but in BSL level two it is usually just at the end. E.G- Name what? (what is your name)

How deaf is 'deaf'?

When interacting with deaf people, you notice that most deaf people can understand unsigned speech as they still have some hearing, or can lip-read with ease. Some hearing impaired will have grown up in a hearing family or gone to a hearing school, and most will have friends who cannot sign.Because of this, signing is often not essential for communicating with the deaf, although there is no question that it makes everything a lot clearer. 

You may be wondering, how much can deaf people hear?
Very few deaf people are completely unable to hear anything.

                       These are the basic different levels of hearing impairment:
-Mild deafness:  People who suffer from this find it hard to distinguish words/ sounds in noisy places. This can be corrected using hearing aids, but in mild cases this might not be necessary. People suffering from Mild deafness may not need sign language, and may not define themselves as being part of deaf culture.
-Moderate deafness: People who suffer from moderate deafness are more likely to need hearing aids, but again they may not need to use sign language as they can still hear people- although the words are often blurred. 
As they can hear some words, they would be more likely to use Sign supported English (S.S.E) or Signed English (S.E) as BSL has a completely different grammatical set out to the English language.
-Severe deafness: This is when people are more likely to start relying on lip read or sign language. If a person if born deaf they are much more likely to use sign language rather than if they develop it in their later years.
-Profound deafness: The quietest sound they can hear is about 95 decibels. Suffers of profound deafness may rely on lip reading or sign language depending on when their deafness developed. 

For more information on the different types of hearing impairments, see : http://deafsign.com/ds/index.cfm?scn=article&articleID=30

Are deaf people defined by their deafness?

You may not know but there are two different types of hearing impaired people- people who are Big D and people who are small d.

Big D people define themselves by their deafness. They may have deaf parents, or have been born deaf, and they feel they are part of the deaf society. Big D people usually communicate predominantly in BSL.

Small D deaf people do not define themselves by their deafness.  They may have developed hearing issues later in life, or may live mainly with people who do not sign.

There is some debate about where you can start calling yourself big D or small d, for example some people believe only people with deaf parents can truly be big D deaf, whereas some believe so long as you embrace deaf culture you are big D deaf.

Words that are not used in BSL.

If you are new to sign, you may not know that some words are not used in BSL.

BSL is a very concise language so often words that are not important are disregarded.
-There is not a sign for ‘and’, ‘the’, ‘is’ or ‘it’.

-Words like ‘But’, ‘if’ and ‘will’ are used sparingly. 

-'Should, would, could’ are all the same sign.  

-Complex words, such as disregarded, impeccable, or discern are simplified- so you would sign 'ignored' 'perfect' and 'recognize' instead.

-Sayings such as 'its raining cats and dogs' or 'have you heard' are not used in BSL, as it is much simpler to just sign 'raining hard' or 'you know?' instead.

Its odd how much can be said when the language is culled down to a few small signs, and how so many words can be disregarded and yet things can still make perfect sense.
It really makes you think how much time we have wasted writing and saying words that don't really need to be used.

Really annoying things people do to deaf people without noticing.

Do not feel bad if you read this and think you have done some of these things before- as we probably have all done at least one! I'm hoping that by writing this, people will be more aware of how annoying some things are.

Disregarding sign conversations. This happened to me recently, I was in a gallery talking to two deaf people, when a girl eagerly commented on how great it was that we could sign, and ask me how I learnt. I was suddenly stuck in a social politeness nightmare. Do I ignore the girl talking to me, or do I stop signing mid-sentence to reply? Either way I’m rude.
The worst thing about it is that I probably did the same a few years ago.
It is easy to forget that people using sign language are having an important conversation, particularly when you don’t understand what is being said and you worry you will never get the chance to interject. Just make sure its appropriate, approach them, make eye contact, and wait for them to finish what they are saying before getting to you.

Stare. Oh, I know we all do this one. Sometimes it is fine to just sit in a group and watch other people sign. But if you’re in a café, having a nice little private chat with your friend, the last thing you want is someone staring at you. It is about knowing where you are wanted.
Treat signed conversations like verbal ones. It is fine to watch and wait for a break in convo to join, or fine to casually see if they are talking about anything you think you could join in on.
Of course at places like parties or in groups it is fine to dive in and out of different peoples conversations.
But don’t just stare at people in the supermarket, making them feel like they are some sort of show. Or even making them feel like just because there language is so vivid that means it is okay to eaves drop.

Pouncing. Don’t touch a deaf person who doesn’t know you’re there. It is incredibly rude. And a bit scary.

Shouting. It’s a bit moronic to think shouting at a deaf person is alright. It makes lip reading harder, draws attention to you, and can be very condescending or upsetting. Just talk, and usually they will follow the lip patterns. Even people who were not born deaf and have just developed it should be able to lip read, as they learn when their hearing gradually gets worse. If people cannot understand you and you don’t know sign, try and write/type it out rather than shout.
 

Baby mouthing. Or in other words, overly pronounced lip patterns or talking really slowly as if you were talking to a baby. This is patronising, draws attention to the person’s deafness and can be really upsetting.
People learn lip-reading by looking at people’s lips when they talk normally, so changing your lip patterns can hinder.

Assuming they cant do things. Recently I got chatted up by a guy, who offered to buy me a drink. As he was buying, I expected him to order. Just because he was deaf, didn’t mean I had to take the money and do it for him. Yes, life would be easier if a hearing, talking person ordered, however deaf people are not incapable of ordering. Bear in mind it may feel like you are being condescending if you assume they want you to talk for them. As with everything, this doesn't apply to everyone. Some people may be intimidated by ordering or talking to hearing people who cannot sign. If that is the case either wait for them to ask you to help them, or politely offer. This is better than assuming they cannot do things.

How to get attention. The polite way.

intYou know how annoying it is when you’re pregnant and people just feel like they can come up and rub your tummy whenever you like?  No? Neither do I, but I know that in the future if people do that to me they will end up losing a hand. Why? Because people invading your personal space because they feel it’s acceptable as you are in a certain situation is rude.
Would you rub a stranger’s tummy if they were not pregnant?
No.
Would you tap a stranger’s shoulder in till they turned round?
Probably not.
Would you suddenly pounce on someone who doesn’t know you are there, resulting in them getting pretty startled?
No.
In fact, would you touch anyone you didn’t know well just to get attention?
No.
However, a lot of people feel that touching a deaf person is the best way to get attention.

It is not. It can be difficult to work out what the best way of getting attention is, so here is my ‘CHAT’ guide to getting attention from a deaf person the polite, least annoying way.

Check and see what they are doing. Assess whether what you are going to say/ do is more important. For example if they are talking to someone and you want to talk, wait. If a fire alarm is going off and they are talking, feel free to interrupt. If they are reading or doing paper work then take care not to be too intrusive, as they could be ignoring you on purpose.
How well can they see you? Move into their eye line so they are not started by you.
Attention seeking wave. Make eye contact, so they know it’s YOU they want. Then wave. Wait in till they are looking at you.
Try and talk (or sign, you know what I mean) to them. If they make eye contact, and then continue to ignore you, then they are probably just busy, or what they are doing is more important to what you’re doing.

If what you want is really important and you are in a situation where you have waved as much as you can and they will not look up/ at you, then you can use their dog.
Some deaf people will have a hearing dog, whose name you ought to ask when you first meet the deaf person, for situations like this. The dog is trained to react to its name, and also to some signs- as their owner directs them through signs.
So, if you are REALLY desperate you can call the dog’s name, then point from the dog to their owner saying ‘Get *insert name here*.’
Why should this be after trying the other things?
 Because the owner will have to give a treat to the dog, for doing such a good job, and we don’t want their dog getting fat, do we?

If you are really desperate, and they don’t have a dog, you could also try shouting.  Many deaf people can hear a little bit, so the loud noise may get their attention. However shouting at people, especially people you know to be deaf, makes you looks a bit stupid, and may cause some embarrassment to the people involved.

The difference between BSL, Sign supported English (S.S.E), Signed English (S.E) and Makaton.

Many people have difficulty understanding the difference between the types of sign language used in Britain. So here is a brief outline of the main four different sign languages.

BSL is a whole different language to English. Although it is closely linked to English, it has many different variations in grammar, structure, and the amount of words used.
For example, words such as ‘and’ ‘is’ or ‘the’ are not needed in BSL.
Mainly used with people who are moderately-severely deaf.

S.S.E is when people talk in normal English whilst signing the most important words for clarification. So, if I was to ask ‘do you want some food?’ I would do the sign for food at the same time as asking.
This is used with people who are mildly deaf- so can hear the words but have difficulty being sure. The signs put everything in context and make it easier to understand.

S.E is when EVERY word is signed, in the correct English order. This is for people who are only moderately deaf, or severely deaf but do not want to use BSL structure. This way of signing in incredibly long, hence why BSL was created.

Makaton is commonly for young children, who may be unable to talk rather then deaf. Also used by people with learning difficulties, such as downs syndrome. They use very basic signs to say only a few important words. For example, if I said ‘give me that bear’ in Makaton I would say/ lip pattern ‘give me that bear’ whilst doing the sign for ‘bear’.

Here is a site that goes into a bit more detail: http://www.underfives.co.uk/signs.htm